walkin a walk

[lunary]

[TODAY Judith is just walking from some place to another, whatever]

Comments

[hardlyboy]

[stays standing, trying not to fidget]

... something happened the other day that I am ashamed of, but I would feel worse if I did not come clean about it.

[lunary]

... ah?

[hardlyboy]

You are familiar with the truth effect, yes?

[lunary]

Yes, why?

[hardlyboy]

Well... Jennifer-san and I were under its influence for a period of time.

[lunary]

... Yeah ...

[hardlyboy]

[pauses, then shakes her head, more to herself]

She kissed me, and I did not push her away--I returned it, rather passionately. And I know that the effect does not control our actions, but it was an honest one all the same. I have no excuse for it, and I regret it. I am sorry.

[lunary]

Aah, okay.

[hardlyboy]

... I don't want to be in a romantic relationship with Jennifer-san. But I cannot deny that I find her attractive, and that she is my friend, and that I wish for her to be happy. But... I have no experience to draw upon in this situation. I wanted to tell you what happened, because I am not comfortable being dishonest, and also... to ask your opinion, or advice.

[lunary]

Well, I'm not mad, firstly.

[hardlyboy]

I'm relieved to hear that, but... I have to ask: why not?

[lunary]

You're young, and those things happen. It's not something I necessarily see as a big deal, either.

[hardlyboy]

I am not a child--I ought to be able to control my feelings better than this.

... is it because you are not monogamous?

[lunary]

No, you're a teenager. That's worse.

Not exactly. I just don't see kissing as that big of a deal. Sometimes it just happens, and it doesn't mean anything really life-changing.

[hardlyboy]

... perhaps you have a point.

[lunary]

That's my opinion, at least.

[hardlyboy]

...

Do you think I am taking the situation too seriously?

[lunary]

Well ... you take everything sort of seriously.

[hardlyboy]

I did hurt her feelings.

[lunary]

Because you kissed her?

[hardlyboy]

Because I told her that I should not have.

[lunary]

Well, that's serious.

[hardlyboy]

[sighs, shoulders slumping a little]

I want to be a good friend to Jennifer-san. But there are certain borders I will not cross for the sake of pleasing her.

...

It seems that no matter what I do, I cannot please everyone--and I should be accustomed to that, given my personality and my line of work. But I find it... much more frustrating, and much more difficult to reconcile, like this.

[lunary]

Personal matters are different from work things.

[hardlyboy]

I think that, perhaps I have immersed myself in my work for so long that I have trouble separating the two.

... do you mind if I sit?